Self-Improvement: Teaching an Old Dog New Tricks

They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks. And I say that's a load of rubbish. (Living in a country settled by the Brits, rubbish has entered into my vocabulary, and I don't hate it.) While it's true that it's easy to find people who are decidedly set in their ways, they are still teachable... changeable... if they choose to be. This old dog saying seems to just give permission to others to give up on any attempts at self-introspection and self-improvement.

I might as well just put it out there that I am all about self-improvement; ever since God came into my life and transformed everything. Many of my blog posts are rooted in this underlying tone. Because that's what He does. God loves us toward repentance. Loves us toward being transformed, renewed, changed. And I think He goes on doing it until the day we take our last breath... if we let Him.

The other night I was out with a group of girl friends for dinner. We were enjoying our burgers, fries and beers on the outdoor patio of a brewery when I overheard a man at a nearby table go on about religion. He rattled off his perceptions of the main religions, stating at one point that the Christian God is all about rules. To some degree that's true. Rules, precepts, commands, statues, guidelines. Whatever you want to call them. But the way I see it, God's way of life for us is sensible, logical and loving. If everyone just loved their neighbor like He "commands", the world would look completely different. Wouldn't you agree? (Isn't it silly that He has to command us to LOVE?) If we followed that one "rule" it would end war, injustice, affairs, rape, abandonment, bullying, murder, and little things like the daily office gossip and bickering. What a mean God. Who would want to follow that God?

But whether you agree with my personal faith lens or not, I think we can agree that self-improvement and becoming more loving are beautiful practices to adopt.

So what's your set of issues? If you're like me, then you've also got a heap of annoying little traits, habits, vices... all of which are usually rooted in pain, insecurity, distrust, pride or just plain unawareness.

Looking back on my journey I can see that before really following God, I was pretty oblivious to my issues. There is this part in the Bible talking about how Jesus helps people see and hear... I'm not talking about the awesome healing bits. But the part about how he helps us "hear and see" the truth about Him... and how after that "click" in the brain/spirit/heart happens, we suddenly see things with new eyes. My experience is a bit like that. Before really knowing God I was blind. Even though I believed in God and the life/death/resurrection of Jesus... I had never laid down my own agenda for Him. So it was still hard to hear him or to be changed by him. But once I did.... my eyes were opened. My ears could hear His voice so clearly. He began to gently unravel my issues as if peeling off my layers like an onion. Each new layer revealed my patterns, my habits, my insecurities. Parts of me that were hard to see. But soon I was walking out my journey with God by my side. He changes everything.

Once you see things through His lens, it's easy to see that every moment is a an opportunity for change—like choosing to forgive your spouse for giving you attitude instead of slamming them back with your own sass, staying calm when your child throws a tantrum, listening well to your friend instead of interrupting with your own two cents, choosing hope when that health issue just won't go away, being flexible instead of moping when things don't go your way, staying quiet instead of gossipping when you're dying to share your two cents (again!), choosing to let go of a grudge, choosing to reach out to a friend who seems MIA instead of giving back the cold shoulder, walking away from a lifestyle of addiction or lust, choosing one beer instead of two, three, four, five... the list is endless.

It's not about striving. And it's not about works or legalism. Or becoming perfect. I must emphasize that point. Rather it's about the simple idea of humbling ourselves and admitting we could be more kind, more loving, more thoughtful, more balanced, more aware. Because He asks us to. And because at the end of the day, that's what makes the world a much more inhabitable place.

So yeah, I'm all people working toward becoming the best version of themselves and not settling for the worst ("I'm just born this way. It's my personality.") or the half-assed effort ("I've tried to change but it's just too hard.") because I don't buy it. We're all capable. But we have to want it.

And, yes, there's room for grace of course. We all mess up. But it can't be an excuse for not trying.

Here's a few simple steps to becoming more self-aware:

1. Pay attention to your actions, reactions, habits.
2. Questions your motives. If it's not loving, what is it?
3. Ask God to help you actively work toward reforming areas that need improvement.
4. Tell a friend & ask for accountability but don't get defensive when they point it out.