It's shenanigans I am tired of talking about, but I realized I can share what I have learned from the journey... in hopes that it might help someone else in theirs.
I've never prayed so hard, wanted healing so desperately, done so much research, been so confused and exhausted or felt so alone at times.
It's tested my faith, my courage, my endurance, my will, my pride.
I've seen friends come and go through my personal wilderness. Some have stopped along the path and journeyed beside me, giving me the extra love and encouragement I needed to push through another day. Others stuck around for a few weeks but continued on. I never really went through hard times that tested friendships before, but now I can say that I understand the phrase "through thick and thin" more than ever. Some people just don't want to hang out with someone who's not perky all the time. But I digress; that's just a minor part of the journey. Let's get to the meat.
The most important things I've gotten out of this whole charade have been what I've learned while searching for answers and while suffering and waiting.
Though it's been a terrible struggle that I seriously hope I never have to endure again, I have to say I am actually grateful for the path it put me on—a journey of health discovery in regards to the truth around everything from vaccines, birth control, chemo/radiation, medical births when unnecessary, GMOs, organic/natural/synthetic/processed products, foods & appliances we use to the pros/cons of modern medicine vs. pros/cons of natural homeopathy/naturopathy, etc. I'm learning valuable information I wish others would have told me years earlier. If I hadn't had faced any health concerns, I would never second-guessed the way we do things or helped to empower myself and my family to live healthier lifestyles.
And personally, I am grateful for the challenge it's been to suffer and wait. In all life circumstances, walking the road with God will enable us to learn through all things we face. It's not easy. But I've learned that if we embrace the seasons, we grow through them and come out better. I have to thank God for being my steady rock through each day. His word, meaningful dreams, the perfectly-timed encouragement from others, the prophetic words spoken from others and in my heart... they have all worked together to keep my going. God sees me and I am grateful for His hand to guide me.
I truly, truly know now what it means for Him to be my strength through my weakness. And I have learned heaps: I've learned that suffering enables your character to be tested. If you let it, it gives you the gift of empathy for others, lessons in waiting and struggling, the ability to be resilient and compassionate and thankful even when you feel like literally killing yourself (gasp, I just got real!) or laying in bed all day. I've learning about the preciousness of life and the gift it is to feel well.
If you let it, suffering generally grows you up.
The song that spoke to me through this journey was Hillsong's "Oceans". I think a lot of people have connected to this song this year.. maybe because the lyrics pretty much sum up life's journey. Life is hard. Usually there are more challenges than not.... and they test our faith. But when we put our trust in Him, we come back up to the surface stronger. God has challenged me to grow while out in rough seas, so that when I come back to shore I will be stronger, wiser, more mature, more seasoned, more faithful. If He had given me all the answers right away, I wouldn't have grown or learned a single thing.
As I share this, it's Dec. 31, 2013—the eve of the start of a new year. Though I am not big on new year resolutions (because really, how many people actually stick to them?), I am big on seeking God for direction and vision for the new season and the new year. I am big on saying: 2014 is going to my year of Victory and Health. When we first moved here in 2010, a new friend gave us one of his paintings as a gift. It had the word "victory" painted on it. He said he felt led to give it to us. We received it happily, not quite knowing the purpose of the gift in terms of why this might be important down the road... but when my health declined and as we faced various challenges (living far from family, adjusting to a new culture, pioneering ministry stuff, living through a multitude of deadly earthquakes, living without running water, getting our car stolen, pushing through terrible health and birth experience, etc.) we soon saw why VICTORY was an important word for us. Friends who have prayed for me in the last few months have felt that my breakthrough and victory are coming soon. So I am standing in this hope... continuing to pray for it and wait for the victory that is just around the corner.
Part of that victory is making big changes in my diet. I have done three detoxes and cleanses to treat systemic candida over the years, but they never seemed to bring complete healing nor did it seem fully holistic (you can read more about that here.). Because chronic candida is a perfect breeding ground for cancer, we really want to get me healthy. We are also very much motivated to get me healthy before we start thinking about baby number two. I long to be a healthy mom, a happy wife and an engaging friend... full of energy (not sickness and fatigue). So here we are... after another few months of praying and researching, we have decided to jump into a Raw Food Diet that consists mainly of a wide variety of raw fruit and veg (read more below if you want to know more). So 2014 is going to be the start of a whole new lifestyle for us! Noah has decided to tag along for the ride, though I don't know how much cheating on the side he will allow himself. But for me, it's going to be strict. I am so ready to FEEL GOOD again.
So what health issues am I talking about here?
Out of privacy, I don't want to list all of my health issues, but I recently counted 18. I will be keeping track of them and celebrating as they DISAPPEAR! Join me in praying that I will be watching them take a hike this year as I move forward with another cleanse and a Raw Food Diet. I will post an update when the issue is resolved. Some of the issues that have developed since 2010 are constant fatigue where it literally feels like I took a night-time cold medicine, back-to-back-to-back colds, poor sleeping, constant itchy skin (due to liver issue), irregular heartbeat, asthmatic pressure, seeing spots... Thanks for joining me in the journey and I hope some of what I learned can help others.
No comments:
Post a Comment